What is Family?

For those who don't know much about me. Here is a glimpse of my life.

My parents divorced in 1957, this was a time when DIVORCE was a family secret that had a sense of shame attached to it. I remember in grade school trying to explain why I didn't have the same last name as my mother. My mother remarried in 1960. I did not have contact with my father at all through my growing up years. In fact until 1989 I never had any contact at all.

I grew up (some argue that fact) got married and had two kids. The fact that my kids didn't even know their father's father weighed heavy on my mind. I was determined to never let this kind of trauma happen to my kids. I was going to always be married to their mother.

Well this was not to be. We divorced, and now my kids have two different family households to visit every Christmas.

I was my mothers only child. I always wanted brothers or sisters, my cousins all had big families, I liked visiting and playing with them. I had heard that I had two half-brothers out there some where. This was encouraging but at the same time discouraging. To find out that I had brothers but had never met them........come on give me a break!

Back to 1989, I received a phone call one day about a family reunion in Richland, this was a call from my aunt and she wanted me and my family to come for the day so that I could meet my father and one of my brothers and his wife and kids. I was told that they would be coming up from California for the weekend. Wow! I have family out there after all. My wife and kids and I went for the day and had a very good time and got to know my brother and his family. I was very encouraged. I also found out some details about my other brother and his life.

Well trying to carry on a relationship with a family that I never knew, this was tough for me. I had enough trouble being close to family that lived two blocks away. As it turned out the visit in '89 was the only time that I got to see this family together. I lost contact once again with other members of this family, for this I take responsibility. My father died in 2000, I did not attend the services or hear from family members until yesterday. I was contacted via facebook to be freinds with one of my brothers, the one that I have never met. This caused me to do some research and see if I could find others of this disconnected family. Well I found my sister-in-law and her boys. How cool is that.

Then I find out that she and my brother are divorced......here we go again! Then I find also that my other brother is also divorced. Is this family doomed too never know a complete family. "The sins of the father....."

I have spent a great deal of emotional energy on this. I guess the thing that has always bugged me about this whole situation is there is no history. No playing together, no fighting with each other, no memories to tell the grand-kids.

Then I came to this realization.....we are all part of God's family. No matter what happens to my namesake family I will always be part of a big family. This is what I need to tell my grand-kids.

Just my thoughts. ===Skid===